Duplicity Inbox

[alwayskayaking]

Duplicity Inbox

You've reached Tim Stoker. I'm out at the moment. Leave me a message and I'll return your call soon.

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[massrez]

Some people do.

[ There's a flicker of a wry smile, there. ]

I thought I would ask how you'd feel most comfortable. It's likely you'll be staying as you are for a long while, so. We can use the couch, or the floor, or you could lie down if you prefer.

[alwayskayaking]

I dunno; I've never done anything like this before so I guess... the couch? Or maybe lying down? Are we sitting quietly? I'm not so sure I want to be put into any sort of hypnosis trance. I'd like to get to know a guy before he has me clucking like a chicken.

[massrez]

[ Not that he can't. But that rather defeats the point and purpose of this. Still, Anduin can't help a small chuckle. ]

Fair enough. And it won't be anything like that. You'll be completely in your own mind, and in control. If you want to stop at any point, we stop.

You're safe here. I promise.

[alwayskayaking]

Thanks. [It has been a long few weeks since Tim has felt safe. He's not so sure he feels safe yet here, but it seems like maybe one day he could.] So I suppose I should sit down? [He moves towards the couch and starts to sit down.]

[massrez]

That's a good start. Get settled in as comfortably as you can.

[ Once Tim has picked where and how he wants to sit, Anduin moves to join him, though giving him a fair bit of distance for the time being. ]

You can close your eyes or keep them open. I found the former to be more helpful for concentrating, myself.

[alwayskayaking]

Alright. I'll give it a try. [Tim closes his eyes. Body language probably giving away that while physically comfortable he's still a bit uptight. Possibly even feeling a little foolish.]

[massrez]

First, you need to clear away whatever's at the forefront of your mind. The things you know are troubling you. Whatever keeps you awake, whatever nags your thoughts during the day.

You can say what they are out loud, or you can stay silent. Just so long as you can see what they are.

[alwayskayaking]

That's easier said then done. [He does his best to keep that from sounding sarcastic because he doesn't mean for it to be.] If I could just tell my thoughts to go away then they wouldn't keep me awake at night.

[massrez]

It's alright. Just focus on what they are, right now. Mastering your own mind takes time, and practice, but it's possible. Don't be too hard on yourself, just try.

When you fear the unknown, what's the one thing that can give you power over it?

[alwayskayaking]

[Tim can't help the very brief, but bitter laugh.] Killing it? C4? I hear I do great things with C4 against Strangers.

[massrez]

[ Anduin sighs. Well. He didn't sign up for this because it was going to be easy.

Light, grant him patience. ]

Nothing everything we're afraid of can be killed.

Are all the things you're thinking of right now monsters that can be slain?

[alwayskayaking]

Not here. [He admits.] They just come back to life here like everyone else.

[massrez]

[ That's a start, at least. ]

How many?

[alwayskayaking]

More than I'm comfortable with. [So more than 0.]

[massrez]

Give it a number. The ones that stand out most to you.

[alwayskayaking]

Several. I lost track of how many vampires feel safe enough to announce themselves on the network.

[massrez]

[ It's probably a good thing he's not keeping count. That would speak to an intent he's not sure he's ready to combat yet. ]

Alright. We can categorize them as one. Vampires. There may be many, but the potential danger and fear they represent can all be seen as one.

See them in your mind's eye. What does that fear look like, to you? Describe it.

[alwayskayaking]

Death. Pain. Heartache. Destruction. Misery. Shall I go on?

[massrez]

Those don't sound like things you can kill.

[alwayskayaking]

No, but I can kill vampires. At least back home I can.

[massrez]

But you can't here.

And it was different when there was something physical to attack. You can't kill heartache or misery, but something that represents those things, with a physical form that you can harm, that's something you know. Something you can control.

That makes you feel better, doesn't it?

[alwayskayaking]

You mean killing the monsters that cause the heartache? Yeah, that does make me feel better.

[massrez]

Why is that?

And...really try to think about why.

[alwayskayaking]

[Tim opens his eyes to look towards Anduin. Taking a moment to decide if this man might be crazy or not.] Because if I kill the things causing the misery then there is less death and misery in the world. [He doesn't say duh but it's probably not hard to hear it in his voice.]

[massrez]

So...to protect the world. Or your friends. Or yourself.

[ His tone remains a patient one, his gaze meeting Tim with an air of 'come on, we're nearly there, just stick with it'. ]

I know it seems obvious, but your strength comes from the reason you fight. You need to understand what that is, at its core.