alwayskayaking | Duplicity Inbox

He does, I told him only a little earlier this evening. He suggested I let you know, actually.

[ He also knows why Jon didn't tell Tim himself, but he's really not sure how much he should be involved or not in Tim's... situation. There's certainly a level of wanting to help, but this is the sort of thing that Jon and Tim definitely have to sort out for themselves. He's willing to be an ear, though. ]

I also wanted to know how you're doing so I meant to message you anyway.
I was told you faced your dualcam clone. That can't have been easy.

[ Going to just focus on Tim's feelings; he has no control over what the thing did but while Hawke doesn't have all the nuanced detail, he knows enough to know Tim is likely struggling. With this and a whole lot of other things. ]

Did he? [Or is Hawke just saying Jon asked him?]

It was really weird. He looked and sounded just like me. Have you met yours at all?

He did.
I'm not in the habit of lying just to make someone feel better.
He just needs some time, otherwise I'm sure he would have told you himself.

[ That, at least, Tim must be able to understand. ]

I haven't.
I haven't gone looking really.
Frankly I'm concerned with what I might find.
You're a strong man for having faced yours, Tim. Especially with the intent to keep it from hurting others.

I don't know. All I really did in the end was say a word and I couldn't let it go around continuing to hurt people. What kind of person would I be if I pretended it wasn't doing that?

A poor one.
So we're all lucky you aren't.

But as I'm given to understand you have to either kill it or admit your greatest flaw. Considering some people don't even know what their greatest flaw is, it does take a strong and wise person to confront that about himself.

[ There's a pause between texts, then: ]

Just give Jon a bit of time.
I'm sure he'll be alright, and I'll make sure he doesn't become a complete hermit among the stacks.

Just now I'm more concerned with how you are, after all that.
So. How are you?

It wasn't so hard. Not so long ago Charlotte and I were attacked by a shadow where I had to do the same thing. Took me a lot longer to figure out what I had to say that time. I just got lucky the same thing worked for the clone. Thanks. He'd live in his archives if given a choice.

[It's Tim's turn to have a bit of a pause between texts. Hawke was worried... about him? He had been getting so use to everyone caring more about those who attack him than himself that it was strange to see those words come across his screen. Especially from someone he hardly knows.

It was nice.] I'll be alright. [He needed to do some soul searching if he thought he might one day become that thing with his face. If it was suppose to be his double then doesn't that mean Tim could one day get that bad?] The clone didn't get a chance to touch me.

As the admin, I'm not giving him that choice.
We're not zoned for living space, anyway.

[ It's a stupid joke, though ones he's a little proud of. He'd learned about building zoning and permits and things like that on the job here and he's rather proud of that accumulated knowledge. ]

As for the clone, good.
And now you don't have to have that hanging over your or anyone else's head.

[ It does make Hawke wonder if he should actually look his up, though. Reading back, he sounds very selfish saying he hasn't even bothered to look, considering who he's talking to and what happened. ]

Neither were the archives when Martin lived down there before the attack. So be careful as he won't accept that as an excuse. Yeah, maybe, except for those it already hurt. I doubt they will be able to move past it so easily. I hope that they can.

I'll pick him up and deposit him at home if it comes to that.

[ Maybe not, but the sentiment is there. He's inherited his mother's ability to henpeck and by golly he'll use it! ]

No, not easily. I wouldn't even say you're moving past it easily, but you are moving, and so will they.

[ He's not sure there's an alternative, honestly. ]

It's just something you've got to give people time for.
It's like having some other version of you having been in the city before you came; there are going to be issues someone has or assumptions they make based on the you they knew before and it's something you have to deal with even if you know you don't deserve it.

Maybe, but I don't know many people who had someone here in this city before them that made money by torturing and raping people live on the internet for all to see. I don't think they're usually that wildly different from each other from what few people I know that's happened to.

[ It's not hard to see what's bothering Tim. The same thing that was terrible about the shadows. The clones are you, so then doesn't that make you capable of the same cruelty? Doesn't that mean you're destined to turn into that?

It doesn't, but the thought process is easy to follow, especially after his similar conversation with Isabela.

He privates the conversation just in case, mostly to spare Tim's feelings from being aired in case anyone is prodding around. ]

Tim.
Do you believe you would ever do such a thing?

I don't think I would. Not to that extreme. [Kill something threatening him? He thinks he could. Tying them down in order to sexually assault and torture them for fun? No.

Then again. He doesn't think he's capable of sacrificing his life either, but you never really know what you're capable of until that moment arrives.]

Then that's what you need to know about yourself.
The difference between us and whatever these clones are is what we are willing to do.
Not what we're capable of doing.
The clones are capable of not being horrible blights on society too, but that doesn't mean they're willing.

[ He... really should check what his is about, shouldn't he. ]

I would hope I'm not actually capable of what that clone did.

That's not what I mean.

[ Maker's balls, Tim is so effortlessly talented at missing the point entirely. ]

I mean is you're only as good or as ill as your actions.
If you never take poor actions, then you're not a poor person.

Yeah, maybe.

[He very nearly asks: So, as an example, calling the cops when someone is beating the crap out of me? That makes me bad, right?

Then he thinks better of it. He was tired and not really in a good headspace. So instead after several long moments of: Showstopper is typing... Hawke will get this simple message.]

Thanks.

[ There's a surprise. Maybe there's hope after all. He doesn't really have words to reply, so he leaves a little picture instead. Hopefully it expresses more than he can otherwise. ]

👍

[It does not, but it still gets marked as read.]

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