Duplicity Inbox

[alwayskayaking]

Duplicity Inbox

You've reached Tim Stoker. I'm out at the moment. Leave me a message and I'll return your call soon.

Comments

[afterthefire]

I do. I care for them, I teach them, I keep them safe. They are as close to blood as I will ever have, and while it's not always neat or easy, they know they can rely on me for anything they need.

It's not true for every vampire that makes another, but it is for me.

[alwayskayaking]

I would hope if you're creating vampires that someone would take responsibility for that. Why even make another vampire if you're going to forget about them?

[afterthefire]

For some, I think it's a sort of power trip. Just to prove that they can. For others, it's a cruel whim. Older vampires are very prone to madness, they become bored and sadistic and it's a game to them.

My maker was over eight hundred years old and quite insane. I was simply a convenient toy, a weapon to be turned loose only for mayhem.

[He wouldn't have admitted that under most circumstances...damn this truth compulsion.]

[alwayskayaking]

I'm not surprised. That's what I expected from creatures that have to kill and can only consume blood to survive.

But, you're more than that now, aren't you?

[afterthefire]

Vampires of my kind don't have to kill to survive. I've lived for periods of time on bagged blood or that of livestock. It's not ideal, but options are important.

It happens, unfortunately, but that's part of why mentoring your offspring is so important. To keep them from becoming reckless or cruel.

I admit I have my moments. But I do my best to remember the human I was, once upon a time.

[alwayskayaking]

Then I hope you never loose sight of the human you use to be.

[afterthefire]

Believe me, that is a hope we share. I am not always a good or gentle man, but there has been reason for everything I've done, every choice I've made.

[alwayskayaking]

I suppose I shouldn't judge that when I've been much the same. A reason for everything, even if that means I haven't always been a good or understanding."

[afterthefire]

Most everyone has their reasons. Though I do believe in the existence of true evil. Understanding something does not mean condoning monstrous actions, but many of us so called monsters make our decisions in surprisingly human ways.

And there are humans who are just as vile, if not more so. I've lived more than long enough to witness it.

There is a balance, I think, though not always easy to reach.

[alwayskayaking]

Yes, I know humans can be just as bad. I've never been one to say they can't.

It's just in my world? There is no such thing as a good monster.

[afterthefire]

Jon has said much the same. There are some very disturbing and frightening things in my world, as well. Not quite the same, but enough that I understand.

I hope you can find a balance, as difficult as it may be. You seem to be off to a start, even in just being willing to try and listen, and I do appreciate that.

[alwayskayaking]

I'm trying to find that balance. Some days, it still feels like I'm on the verge of tipping over, but I'm trying to get better.

[afterthefire]

I think there are always days like that, for everyone no matter what their trials. Knowing when to give yourself space is important, just as much as the times you push yourself a little bit in the name of progress.

But I'm glad to see you making the effort. It's not always a good and safe world, but some of us do our best.

[alwayskayaking]

Here's hoping I don't end up taking three steps back.

[afterthefire]

Likewise. I sincerely hope that you continue to have...*better* experiences, and less of the terrible things you've encountered.

I know it's not easy, but I do wish you the best.

[alwayskayaking]

And I wish you the best as well. [Something he might not have ever said a year ago.]

[afterthefire]

It's very much appreciated.

[He means it sincerely. Wolf has certainly made note of Tim's progress, as precarious as it might be at times.]

have a good evening, Tim, I'm sure we'll speak again soon.

[alwayskayaking]

Take care.