Duplicity Inbox

[alwayskayaking]

Duplicity Inbox

You've reached Tim Stoker. I'm out at the moment. Leave me a message and I'll return your call soon.

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[alwayskayaking]

Forgive me if this question would be insulting, but I can't help but be curious.

If you could get your humanity back? Would you? Is that something you think other vampires would even want? Or would that be like killing a part of yourself that you now are?

[afterthefire]

I don't think I would go back to being human again, no. Some I'm sure would choose it if allowed, but I have lived a hundred years. A lifetime that I never would have had, otherwise. I would survive if it were taken from me, but I would not give it up on my own.

Part of it is love. Experiencing a life... Family. Safety. Security. The things we all long for.

Part of it is fear, and more complicated things. But at least I am honest with myself about what I would give up and what I would not. I take some comfort in that as well.

[alwayskayaking]

I guess fearing death isn't something that goes away once you become a vampire.

But family? Don't you outlive most of the people who were in your life after becoming a vampire?

[afterthefire]

Death doesn't come easily to us, but we fear it as much, perhaps more than most. Some become a vampire to escape death, but it is there. No matter how long we might live.

Most of my family are gone, yes, but I still look after my brother's family from afar. They believe me a distant, eccentric cousin with a bit of wealth to spare.

I also care for others in my life who are not strictly speaking, family. I have done my share of charity work, taken on apprentices at times. I like people, in general, and I find keeping myself involved and active is helpful for both society and my own mental well-being.

[alwayskayaking]

A vampire that does charity work. I must admit, before getting to know you? I would have thought the only charity work a vampire would do would be at a blood donation center.

[afterthefire]

indeed. But some of us do live and work among polite society, and we find our place as we need to. I remember well enough what it's like to be cold, hungry, and alone...I do not wish it on others.

I suppose that isn't the case for those who have never been human at all, but some of us? We remember.

[alwayskayaking]

Never been? You can be a vampire who has never been human in your world?