alwayskayaking | Duplicity Inbox

[There is a long wait before Jon gets a text reply. He wouldn't let Jon? It didn't seem right. It felt like he was missing some sort of context.]

Why? Did he threaten you? Can you, I dunno, go complain to the police here? You're a dominant and it's not like he is as connected in this city. [Tim assumes.] If he's threatened you what kind of powers does he have here? Would a gun work on him?

It's complicated, Tim.
Elias' abilities literally allow him to get away with murder.
It's how he got away with Gertrude's.
He can change any digital information at will, cut and splice it how he wants.
What's a video camera, if not a mechanical eye?
He can also See everything and he watches... probably constantly.
He'll likely know I'm telling you this now.

What he has is contracts.
One with Agnes as her Dominant and employment contracts with a woman named Ginger and a man named Tsurugi.
The times I've tried to fight Elias, he's taken it out on Agnes, putting her in Realignment, one of those Centers.
It was horrible.
God, what they did to her was so horrible, Tim.
Elias never threatens me, just... everyone else.
It's why I don't want you back at the Institute.
If you can get away, if he's lost his grip on you, you're safe.
He doesn't have Martin, either.
The Lonely saw to that.
Gerry I'm not sure about, but he's less associated with the Institute and more with the Ceaseless Watcher directly.
I'm a dominant, but anything I try to do legally, he'll just turn it around on me.
He has.
He's seen me put in Realignment more than once, as well.
I just look like a lunatic, and he's a model citizen.

Edited 2020-06-13 05:11 (UTC)

[He can splice digital content? Like what's on a phone?] I'm going out for a coffee. You want one? And I don't mean from the Persian. I'll send you an address?

[Jon's not sure he should accept in all honesty. But it's what Tim wants. He's trying to be accommodating.]

Sure.
Fine.
I'll meet you wherever you want.
Just... somewhere less busy, please.

[Tim will send an address. A place that serves coffee to go that he's never been to and only just looked up. What he likes about this place is how close to a park it is that they could take that coffee too.

Which is where Tim will be standing with two cups of coffee when Jon shows up.] Hey boss. Still like it mostly black?

It's fine.

[Whatever it is, it's fine. Jon's looking more than a little guilty and uncertain as he takes the coffee from Tim and glances off to the side.]

I take it we're walking?

It's a nice day. I thought the park would be a good place to enjoy our drinks. [Tim starts to move and once they're away from most everyone else he jumps right to the point.] You didn't answer my question earlier. Would a gun kill him? Or would it need to be something more extreme?

[Jon takes a sip of coffee to play for time because that's another difficult question.]

I don't know. I thought he could be killed easily enough. It's only his eyes that are still him. Elias is just a body he hollowed out. But we... I tried to stand up to him a little while ago. Elias--Jonah--did what he did because he's a coward, Tim. He was afraid of falling under another power's rule or dying. The apocalypse was his way to rule and to cheat death forever. I told him that Martin and I would... kill him. Rob him of whatever victory he had, even if it didn't fix the world. At least he would lose.

He just laughed at me and said we'd had our chances to kill him and heavily implied that they were gone. So, maybe he's immortal now. I don't know. But I do know that if you kill him, you'll likely be killing anyone who's signed a contract with him. Innocent people who have nothing to do with any of this.

I can't stop you, but I'd ask you not to do that. Ginger doesn't deserve it, if no one else.

But it would stop him from hurting more people. He's already got, what, three people? How many more will he get? He needs to be stopped and stopped now. I don't know Ginger and I'm sure she doesn't deserve it, but she's one compared to everyone else in this city. [Easy to say when you don't know the person personally.]

And what about everyone who works at the Magnus Institute? All the ordinary people with ordinary lives. Well... who did work there.

[Jon stops next to a bench and just sort of collapses onto it, whether Tim stops or not.]

I've hurt so many innocent people, Tim. The thought of doing it to even one more is... I can't. I'm sorry. I can't.

Do you really think if he dies here it will effect people back home? [That's what Jon means, right? Those people who work at the Institute?]

Edited 2020-06-13 06:28 (UTC)

Yes. I think it could. I don't know for certain, but I'm not willing to bet their lives.

Didn't you tell me that you've lost, anyway? That they're all living in some horrific apocalyptic world? What are they really losing at this point if we take out Elias while we have the chance?

Tim... [It's a very, very tired sigh.] Martin and I are apparently trying to fix it. I don't know if it can be fixed, but those people deserve the chance to see the other side of it, if it can be.

Oh? Yeah? And what's the big plan to fix it back home? Hm? Listen to you! You're willing to let people continue to suffer on a maybe because you want to be a hero?

And we're talking, what? A couple hundred people who work or has worked at the institute before compared to the whole world? It's hard Jon, but sometimes you need to think bigger picture.

So if you think conventional means might kill him then if I get the chance I'm going to take it.

[A hero. Jon could laugh. He doesn't, just stares down at the coffee Tim had bought for him.] Every time I've tried to play hero, it's given Elias exactly what he wants, Tim. Forgive me, if I don't try to put myself out there anymore. I have no idea what's playing into his hands and what isn't.

Do you know what it's like to feel like you can't trust yourself to do anything? Because it might be what he wants? It might be giving some sociopath exactly what he wants. I'm trying, Tim. Not to be a hero. God, do you really think that's what I want? I'm not a hero. I can never be a hero. That's for people like you or Martin. People who are still people, not... this.

Do whatever you want. I won't stop you. But I can't help you with it, either.

Then I am going to try to kill him. If he's as bad as you say and the reason so many have suffered back home? Then I'm going to take the chance if given one.

He might come back, so you're aware. People don't always stay dead here. Almost everyone in the program was killed two months before you arrived. Humans, monsters, all of us. I don't know if Elias was on the space ship with us. I didn't see him, personally. I don't see why he wouldn't have been. But toward the end of our time there, a madness overtook us. Paranoia or rage or both. We started hallucinating things that could hurt us... and some people started murdering everyone they could find.

It... it was a slaughter. A mindless, vicious slaughter. Those of us who managed to hide and survive that, um... they opened all the airlocks all at once. We couldn't stop it. And then we woke up here like nothing had happened.

Edited 2020-06-14 17:25 (UTC)

[Tim gives a bitter laugh at the new information. Of course there would be some sort of catch.] You could have started with that.

But are you sure you all actually... [He pauses with a frown. Suddenly realizing how heartless he was being charging ahead with his questions like this. He takes a deep breath and starts again. Trying to be a bit more kind this time.] I'm sorry. I can't even imagine how hard it would have been to experience that. It must have been horrific.

[It had been. Jon chooses not to dwell.]

I don't know if we actually died, Tim. I know what it felt like. But Martin's died here, as well. Before that, during a war between a man called Nissen and the Creator of LIEs. He was stabbed and bled out, but came back a few days later.

He--? someone--? [He lets out an angry breath and runs a hand through his hair.] Christ. I don't know if I should be happy that Martin is still alive or angry that it means killing Elias isn't going to be that easy.

[There's something of an extended pause.]

Be happy. I'm... less inclined to try to be human when he's not here.

[Tim scoffs and rolls his eyes.] Oh, grow up. [That's not fair and not exactly the right phrase he wants to use but: stop being a monster doesn't have a wildly used colloquial for him to use instead. He goes on to explain his feelings a bit more.] So you're willing to give up and become a monster all over one man? One person and you're willing to start hurting people and giving in to being a monster? That's not fair to put that much pressure on Martin. To make him the one thing holding you back.

[That is still not fair, but Tim might be letting his frustration over not being able to do much about Elias, unable to stop monsters from killing his brother, and feeling just in way over his head spill over and all over Jon.] If you really want to not become like Elias then you need to be better. Because if you really can't cope if Martin suddenly vanishes? Then I won't hesitate to take you down before you become too dangerous and I really don't want to have to do that.

Learn to listen. I said less inclined, not completely disinclined. [It's snapped back at Tim because he literally just had this argument with Diva.] He's already disappeared from here once and I didn't fly off the deep end. You know exactly what it's like to lose someone you love so much, how everything changes. You uprooted your entire life for your little brother.

But please do take me down if I ever do become too dangerous. I've already made arrangements for someone to kill me when it comes to that, but you're more than welcome.

Yeah, I did. Uprooted my life to stop more bad things from happening to others and to seek revenge. I didn't become one of them because of loss. I certainly didn't give up either. [Because Jon giving into what he was becoming felt that way to Tim in his mind. Even if it wasn't fair to Jon.]

But I'm glad that didn't happen when he disappeared before. I'm glad you were stronger than that.

Edited 2020-06-16 13:58 (UTC)

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cw: discussion of abusive relationship dynamics

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cw: mentions of psychological abuse/gaslighting

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cw: mentions of character death, genocide, and psychological effects

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